tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45916785991769901342024-02-20T21:00:05.188-08:00Telling StoriesCharlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-85190365836604673902013-06-10T13:08:00.001-07:002013-06-10T13:08:31.078-07:00The Apple Blossom Cluster FINAL<!--StartFragment-->
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.0pt;">Word
Count: 999<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.0pt;">Intended
Publication: Kalamazoo Gazette<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">She’s been
waiting for this moment ever since she was born. She is the most desirable in a
long line of family legacy. She sits proudly on the beauty table being washed,
blow-dried, powdered and tweezed, eyebrows trimmed, teeth brushed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Eminem thumps
through her head: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">One shot do not miss
your chance to blow, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“12 month bitch
#20 on deck!” Woof!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The doggy stakes
are high at the 2013 Apple Blossom Cluster Dog Show, held at the Expo Center
off of Lake St. just outside Kalamazoo. Over 1300 dogs from the Midwest and
parts of Canada compete to advance in five showing events that form the
“cluster” from May 23<sup>rd</sup>-26<sup>th</sup> 2013, an event that was sparsely
advertised in the Kalamazoo Community. This dog show is the largest grouping
event in Michigan, and has been held in Kalamazoo for over 10 years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.0pt;">“We lightly advertise it, but it
doesn’t necessarily draw a really strong gate from the public. It’s a hobby and
a sport that the group people like,” says Jim Frankhauser, the Cluster
Secretary/Coordinator for the event.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Some people do
golfing, some people do bowling, some people do dogs”, explains Bob, member of
the Holland Kennel Club, one of the five sponsoring clubs. The lawn outside is
sprawled with hundreds of campers and RVs housing the owners, handlers, and
dogs competing in this year’s show. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.0pt;">“Dog shows should be named as the evaluation
of breeding stock”, says Frankhauser.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The judges determine
which dog matches most closely to the “standard” of their breed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.0pt;">“You want to have your dog compared
against the standard because otherwise you lose track of where you are”,
explained Linda Lockstein, showing two Chows from Ontario.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Judge Janet
Nahikian judges the Toy Chihuahua category. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“We look for
three things: type, soundness and showmanship. And how well they’re built and
how well they move… we look at the confidence a dog has. You know, you want
them to say ‘here I am’. I look for beautiful head properties, the dog that
moved beautifully and fit the standard.” Nahikian is from Coloma, Michigan and
has been judging since 1986.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Expo Center
and Fairgrounds, which hosts a multitude of large animal shows and flea and
farmers market events each month, is a perfect venue for the show. The large
rooms accommodate multiple show rings, and provide a separate prepping area for
the dogs, wafting scents of shampoo.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“The same
shampoo doesn’t work for everybody, some have straight hair, some have frizzy
hair”, says Julie, a professional dog shower from Flint. “You know that soap
they use for oil spills and things? It works really well for dogs, and its
really nice and cheap.” She begins to apply sharpie to the eyelids of one of
her Border Collies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">At a nearby
table, Linda Lockstein, yanks a small metal comb through her Chow Chow’s mass
of thick matted fur, practically falling over with release of each knot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“You have to go from
under her chin” Linda says about petting Maile, “she can’t see with all of her
fur, and gets spooked.” She gets out a blow dryer, which one could easily
mistake for a vacuum cleaner, and blasts Maile, flattening her fur. To finish,
she ties a bib around her neck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Just so she
doesn’t get wet.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.0pt;">Like many owners, Linda is showing more
than one dog today. She wheels Maile and her male dog, Traveler in their
carriers to Ring 4 for their event. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Chows are
trotted in by their handlers who do a lap, and then lead their dogs up onto a
ramp for inspection, molding their legs into a perfectly aligned stance. They
cup the chin of the dog in one hand, and the tip of the tail in the other,
while a judge observes from different angles. Occasionally the judge feels the
bone structure of the hips or shoulders, or quickly opens the dogs mouth to
examine its teeth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The owners are
dressed in suits, which quickly become covered in dog hair, and many women show
with a comb sticking out of their ponytail, for quick touch-ups before or even
during the class. A few owners hastily removed the comb, did a small brush
down, eyes darting around and then shoved it back in their hair while the judge’s
eyes were on a rivaling dog.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Even though
owners do feel a sense of competition, at the end of the day, they still love
their dogs. One Dockson owner coo-ed in child-directed speech nose to nose with
her dog:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Oh I love her!
She’s a loser, but I love her. Well, she’s a loser today, but we don’t care.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.0pt;">Dogs hope to advance through a series
of elimination rounds each day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.0pt;">“You continue to compete until you’ve
been beat, one dog comes out being undefeated”, says Frankhauser.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.0pt;">Dog and Bitch winners of each breed
compete against “Champion Dogs” (exemplary in their breed), ultimately dubbing a
“Best in Breed” winner. These winners compete against the winners of other
breeds in their group, and the winners of each group compete on Sunday for the “Best
in Show” award. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.0pt;">But, there are credentials to be earned
for all dogs at the show. Ribbons are awarded for 1<sup>st</sup>-4<sup>th</sup>
place at each level, and awards for smaller class winners are donated by breed
organizations. Additionally, non-winning dogs can still accumulate points by
beating other dogs, which accumulate over time to achieve Championship Dog
standing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“We do it for
the love to the breed, and the love of the dogs, and because we’re kind of
crazy,” Faith of the Holland Kennel Club explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Yeah, we’re all
kind of crazy,” Bob echoed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">At the
photography stand an owner with a paw print tattooed up her ankle takes about
10 minutes placing her Chihuahuas paws just so, trophy towering over the dog.
Once the owner is ready, the photographer tosses a toy laxadazically, the dogs
ears perk up at a perfectly candid angle, SNAP! Kodak moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-87631231982948044712013-06-10T10:54:00.001-07:002013-06-10T10:55:40.222-07:00Photojournalism Project: Brian Polcyn<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidF01lsrnLlTKyiVvofh77qO8ufE13VfIz8ughg3tSsMX54jdCX5QjDn8UN-3m2DwI_k4Rf6UHcA8DPtFxkvR_89AsWR-QuuaMYr8WM8FgT_j_iaWvypKgvjwJpLdhCmlEne_I8ubo3eQ/s1600/DSC03902.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidF01lsrnLlTKyiVvofh77qO8ufE13VfIz8ughg3tSsMX54jdCX5QjDn8UN-3m2DwI_k4Rf6UHcA8DPtFxkvR_89AsWR-QuuaMYr8WM8FgT_j_iaWvypKgvjwJpLdhCmlEne_I8ubo3eQ/s320/DSC03902.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times;">Brian Polcyn is a meat guy: practitioner, chef, and teacher, of
"Charcuterie" (shar coot er ie), the art of curing and preserving
meats. Between his polish heritage, travels to Italy, and apprenticeship with
Milos Cihelka, Polcyn is fluid in the art of curing salamis, hams, and other
meats. He has been locally active in Michigan, studying at Schoolcraft College
and building his restaurant career in Milford and now Birmingham, currently
owner of Forest Grill. His expertise is nationally acclaimed: co-author of <i>Charcuterie:
The Craft of Salting, Smoking and Curing, h</i>e travels around the country
teaching and speaking about this ancient art. He has been written up in the New
York Times and Atlantic Monthly, as well as nominated for a James Beard Award
and Restaurant of the Year in Michigan. He now teaches Charcuterie at his alma
mater, a required class for a Culinary Arts degree. Polcyn values local
sourcing and hopes to use his example and businesses to make a difference in
the food system by spreading awareness of the importance of food transparency,
and creating a demand for it in his following.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-253490481221111462013-06-04T20:58:00.000-07:002013-06-04T20:58:14.722-07:00Writing ProcessWhoops, sorry about that:<br />
<br />
This piece was really fun to report and write. I feel like I could play around with it for the rest of this summer and still find fun ways to describe the things that I saw and overheard. I feel lucky to have such good material, but at the same time it leaves me with an enormous amount of dissatisfaction, like I could always be saying something better, that I haven't felt with my other pieces. It's good to get feedback about what sounds good and is enjoyable to read, and what is just dull or sounds confusing. And Colin is right, I don't have a conflict. I guess every show man/woman at the show had their own conflict and pot of gold: a dinky ribbon to put in their glass wall case at home, but I'm trying to capture the whole scene here, so in that sense I don't know what the conflict is. Maybe we can talk about this tomorrow.Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-84761503398760140662013-06-03T07:56:00.001-07:002013-06-03T07:56:49.935-07:00Apple Blossom Cluster Means Spring!<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">She’s been
waiting for this moment ever since she was born. She is the most desirable in a
long line of family legacy. She sits proud on the beauty table being washed,
blowdried, powdered and tweezed, eyebrows trimmed, teeth brushed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Eminem thumps
through her head: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">One shot do not miss
your chance to blow, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“12 month bitch
#20 on deck!” Woof!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The doggy stakes
are high at the 2013 Apple Blossom Cluster Dog Show, held at the Expo Center in
Kalamazoo, MI. Owners and handlers from all over the state and other regional
locations in the Midwest and Canada brought over 1300 dogs to compete for “Best
in Breed” awards between May 23<sup>rd</sup> and 26<sup>th</sup>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Some people do
golfing, some people do bowling, some people do dogs.” Explained Bob, member of
the Holland Kennel Club, one of the sponsoring Kennel Clubs to host the event.
The lawn outside is sprawled with hundreds of campers and RVs housing the
owners, handlers, and of course dogs competing in this years show. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The show inhabits
the entire expo center, with white picket rings in each room for the obedience
and breed classes. There is a large warehouse for grooming and prepping the
dogs, with rows and rows of tables stationed, equipped with roll-away kits to
primp the dogs. Vendors line the side wall selling collars, key chains, and
embroidered paraphernalia. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">In Ring 4,
bulldogs are trotted in by their handlers who do a lap, and stop on the far
wall, hastily crouching next to the dogs, molding their legs into a perfectly
aligned stance. They cup the chin of the dog in one hand, and the tip of the tail
in the other, pulling up to evoke presence and pride from the dog, while a
judge observes from different angles. She moves to the front of the line, and
the owners rotate around their dogs in synchronization, arranging the chin fat
of the bulldogs into a nice ruffle of expression. Occasionally the judge will
feels the bone structure of the hips or shoulders, or quickly open the dogs
mouth to examine its teeth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Unfortunately,
in the world of dog showing, not all dogs are created equal, leaving the judges
to determine which dog matches most closely to the “standard” of their breed, bring
home the highly coveted prize ribbons accordingly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Judge Janet
Nahikian judged the Toy Chihuahua category. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“We look for
three things: type, soundness and showmanship. And how well they’re built and
how well they move… we look at the confidence a dog has. You know, you want
them to say ‘here I am’. I look for beautiful head properties, the dog that
moved beautifully and fit the standard.” Nahikian is from Coloma, Michigan and
has been judging since 1986.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Awards are given
in a small area in between the show rings, and the beauty room where blow
dryers whizz, wafting scents of shampoo.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“The same
shampoo doesn’t work for everybody, some have straight hair, some have frizzy
hair.” Says Julie, a professional dog shower from Flint, “You know that soap
they use for oil spills and things? It works really well for dogs, and its
really nice and cheap.” She begins to apply sharpie to the eyelids of one of
her Border Collies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">At a nearby
table, Linda Lockstein, a small older woman from Tilsinburg, Ontario is yanking
a small metal comb through her Chow Chow’s mass of thick matted fur,
practically falling over with the force of the release of each knot. The
loosened fur poofs up into the air and floats away onto a nearby object or
person. We chat, and I ask to pet Maile. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Oh no, you have
to go from under her chin” Linda explains “she can’t see with all of her fur,
and gets spooked.” She gets out her blowdryer, which one could easily mistake
for a vacuum cleaner, and blasts Maile, like a dog in a convertible on the
freeway. When she’s finished she then ties a bib on her, the strings barely
meeting around Maile’s mane. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Just so she
doesn’t get wet.” Linda explains. She wraps her tiny arms around Maile’s waist,
only a bit larger and stronger than the dog, and lifts a stiff, perplexed Maile
safely onto the ground.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Outside the ring
the competitors are friendly, congratulating one another and making small talk,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“How many of
those do you have at home?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“About 6. Before
Christmas I has 11, but I had a lot of extra males, so…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Some owners are
juggling 6 to 7 dogs at once, hastily lifting them out of their carriers, showing
them quickly and then putting them back in to remove the next nearly identical dog.
For many handlers this is their way of assigning credential to their breeding.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The owners are
dressed in suits, which quickly become covered in dog hair, and many women show
with a comb sticking out of their ponytail, for quick touch-ups before or even
during the class. A few owners while holding their dog in position, hastily
removed the comb, did a small brush down, eyes darting around and then shoved
it back in their hair while the judges eyes were on a rivaling dog.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Even though owners
do feel a sense of competition, at the end of the day, they still have their dog,
even it its not a prize winner. One Dockson owner coo-ed in child-directed
speech:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Oh I love her!
She’s a loser, but I love her. Well, she’s a loser today, but we don’t care.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“We do it for
the love to the breed, and the love of the dogs, and because we’re kind of
crazy,” Faith of the Holland Kennel Club explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Yeah, we’re all
kind of crazy,” Bob echoed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">At the
photography stand an owner with paw print tattooed up her ankle takes about 10
minutes placing her Chihuahuas paws just so, trophy towering over the dog. Once
the owner is ready, the photographer tosses a toy laxadazically, the dogs ears
perk up at a perfectly candid angle, SNAP! Kodak moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">1014 Words</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Intended Publication: Claws and Paws Michigan Dog Publication</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-49368994686281105962013-05-28T19:33:00.003-07:002013-05-28T19:33:43.420-07:00Post for TomorrowHere is my post of "stuff I think everyone should read/look at":<br />
<br />
First, here is a narrative blog from Middlebury College that i stumbled upon... they did a series called "how did you get here" that kind of reminds me of our final photo journalism project. It's cool to see that other students are doing similar things:<br />
<a href="https://sites.middlebury.edu/middblogs/tag/fellows-in-narrative-journalism/">https://sites.middlebury.edu/middblogs/tag/fellows-in-narrative-journalism/</a><br />
<br />
Also, I really love Graphic Novels and wanted to see how people think that they fit into this genre of story telling and narrative (more personal narrative). But I think there is a real art to being able to write and illustrate these well and effectively. This is a cool NPR program that I stumbled upon that featured a book and then highlighted some of the narratives from within it, so it had some succinct(er) examples of narratives through pictures. I didn't have a ton of time to browse, but go for it!<br />
<a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2013/04/11/176568118/cook-illustrated-a-new-graphic-novel-that-live-to-eat-types-will-savor">http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2013/04/11/176568118/cook-illustrated-a-new-graphic-novel-that-live-to-eat-types-will-savor</a><br />
<br />
I kind of had trouble finding cool things... I don't really have a cyber-realm of journalism that I browse regularly, but hopefully these will be fun to look at.<br />
<br />
See ya tomorrow!Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-25540397407115893792013-05-22T14:49:00.001-07:002013-06-05T21:21:37.320-07:00Life, Liberty, and the Prosciutto of Happiness: Making it in the Michigan Restaurant Business FINAL<!--StartFragment-->
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Nationally
acclaimed practitioner of Charcuterie (char coot er ee), restaurant owner,
author, and teacher, Brian Polcyn, stands at a table in front of a small cooking
class at Kalamazoo College in Michigan. He raises a spoonful of risotto to his
mouth, slurps a small taste and rolls his eyes back in his head. His face
melting, he tosses the spoon on the counter and steps back with his hands in
the air saying “I don’t know how I do it.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">A few weeks
later, I stood with him in front of his classroom at Schoolcraft College in
Livonia, Michigan, sampling and critiquing the work of his students, and he
told me about how he became Chef Polcyn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“Next!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">His gruff low
voice booms from the gut of his meat belly out over the classroom of culinary
arts students in the unmistakable accent of a Detroit native. Students come up
periodically to present their work. He cuts off a piece of sausage and hastily
puts it in his mouth, tossing the hot meat roughly with each chewing motion. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Meanwhile students
slide around the kitchen, turning sideways to fit through small spaces, and
lifting raw meat concoctions overhead to avoid colliding with one another. The
classroom smells of salt and cured meats, slabs of raw cuts laying all over the
place, being dressed and stuffed and flavored by the students: chicken breasts,
jerky, fish, pork chops and sausages of cow and pig piled in coils, or in long
strings draped over pieces of equipment. There was nowhere I could stand and
feel like I wasn’t in the way. In an environment where it was easy to feel like
a burden, Chef Polcyn made me feel like a guest, including me in the
chaos that was culinary school finals week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Student Brian
lands a smoked trout on the altar of critiquing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“Smoked fish?
Ok, watch this, she’s going to grade you. Whatever she says goes, and do <i>not
</i>be nice. I want you to ask yourself, is it pleasant to eat, first and
foremost?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">It was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“Ok, is it too
salty?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">No, it wasn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“Is it moist?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Ehhh it was a
little dry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“Ok, so here’s
someone who doesn’t know a lot about food, but this is our customer, right? So
we have to listen to her. So for a score of 1 out of 25 what would you give
him?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">I gave him a 24,
but Polcyn is cheeky.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“If I liked him
I would do 24, but I don’t like him, so I’m gonna go 23.9.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">When he’s not
grading, Polcyn barks his way around the kitchen, critiquing sanitation
practices, fixing broken equipment, and cutting cured meats for sampling from
the transformation room, where salted meats have been hanging, aging for years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“I’m taking you
in my transitional room where I take no one. Not even my students," he says, "They’re all
like ‘Who is this girl?’”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">At first, it
looked like a bunch of dry, hanging, moldy ham. But this is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Charcuterie. </i>Charcuterie is the art of
curing and preserving meat without cooking it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Polcyn speaks of
Charcuterie as common sense. Refrigeration has only been around for about
100 years, but people have been eating meat forever. Polcyn doesn’t just
worship meat, but also the fat, which Polcyn learned in Italy, is where the flavor truly
lies. He has the fat-o-phobics chanting “Fat is flavor, Fat is our friend, We
love fat!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">In a review in the Atlantic monthly magazine, Food critic
Corby Kummer wrote:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">“Polcyn knows how to get
true flavors. His forte is meat, appropriately enough in the Midwest. The pork
and the duck were the best I've had in years—anywhere, even in southwestern
France, where every house is a farm and every farm fattens a few ducks.
Specifically, Polcyn's forte is charcuterie, the art of sausage-making. Every
day a different pâté or terrine is offered, and the peppery duck pâté I tasted
was a tour de force… Even better, both meats, with their full marbling of fat,
tasted the way they used to, before Long Island ducklings were raised in
quarters closer than a Manhattan apartment and Iowa hogs were bred to be slim.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">How does this
carnivore reconcile the vegetarianism of so many of his customers?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“I don’t have a
problem with it… I don’t see the importance of it," he says, "I mean you need a certain
amount of fat in your diet, and I think animal fat is the best.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">He recognizes
vegetarianism as an important value to some of his customers, using some of the
methods with vegetables. For example, a terrine is typically a meatloaf style
casserole wrapped in additional meat such as bacon but can be made with
vegetables.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“I adapt the
principle of the ancient craft of Charcuterie and apply it to the modern
American menu. In my mind, I’m honoring the tradition, but I’m also thinking
about the contemporary palate of my customers. Yeah, I know it sucks. It’s an
oxymoron. It’s like saying jumbo shrimp… vegetable terrine,” he says.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Ironically, he
shares his office with a vegan, and they seem to have agreed to disagree.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">His space-mate
made two good cases for veganism: most illnesses stem from meat consumption,
doctors advising their patients to stop eating meat, so why wait until you get
to that?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Polcyn has an
ego, but he knows a good argument.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“He makes a good
point. I hate it when he’s right.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">The second
reason being the land used to feed animals could feed people instead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“Oh shit, I <i>hate</i>
it when he’s right.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Co-author of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Charcuterie: The Craft of Salting, Smoking,
and Curing, </i>Michael Ruhlman, wrote about a conversation he had with Polcyn told him about the beginning of his love for Charcuterie: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“My Polish
Grandma, my father's mother, made Kielbasa every Christmas and Easter. Then my
mom took over the job. We didn’t have any money so everything we used and used
well. We’d grind the meat and season it. The next day we’d stuff it, tie it
into big rings, hang the rings over a broom handle on chairs, put the dog out,
and set the kielbasa in front of the fire overnight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“But this
romance with Charcuterie didn’t start until my early twenties, when I went to
work at the Golden Mushroom, outside Detroit, for Milos Cihelka, a Czech
immigrant, my mentor and one of Michigan’s great Chefs. I’d been cooking for
five or six years and thought I knew something. But when I started grinding
meat and smoking sausages for Chef Milos, I realized how little I knew. I was
also fascinated by the process. I got to work early and left late. I took notes
like crazy.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Now Polcyn has
an army of his own students learning from him. He describes the culinary world
of apprenticeship as a responsibility to teach the next generation everything
he knows. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“I expect my
students to go out and teach the same, just like I do.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Even though
Charcuterie is a required class for a culinary degree at Schoolcraft, the students enjoy Polcyn. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“He makes it so
much fun,” said student Joline, a middle aged DJ on the radio, who really hates
meat, but is taking the class to graduate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Polcyn returned
to teach at his Alma Mater after opening and closing two restaurants, and
opening a third which he still owns: Forest Grill in Birmingham, MI. His
other restaurants included Five Lakes Grill in Milford, which he turned
into Cinco Lagos, a Mexican restaurant, when Five Lakes was starting to fail.
But he sees these openings and closings as normal fluctuations in the restaurant
business that have contributed to his success.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Not only has
Polcyn succeeded in one of the toughest professions, he has
done it all in the state of Michigan, independent of cities with established
taste and demand for his skills. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">His son, Dylan, a
student at Kalamazoo College, was equally charismatic and vibrant, eager to
talk about his Dad. Dylan attested that if his Dad had hauled the kids out to
New York or Chicago, he would be a star on the food network right now. But instead he prioritized the values that distinguished Polcyn from other chefs and the
sacrifices he has made throughout his life for his family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Though he
attempted to cut back on complexity of menu items in order to have more time
with his family, his restaurant gained credentials that ultimately
had him written up in the New York Times and Atlantic Monthly, as well as nominated for a
James Beard Award and Restaurant of the Year in Michigan, all of which showcased his talent
amid his natural and feasible habitat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“I got
nationally recognized as a chef in that little community where I could raise my
family and just be open for dinner. I could go coach soccer practice at four
o’clock and be back at the restaurant for dinner service because it was only
five minutes away. I’m a very successful business man, very successful chef,
Nationally acclaimed, financially stable, I make a lot of money for being a
cook. That’s not bragging, that’s fact.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Polcyn’s
accomplishments are a testament to his skill and acclaim he has built in the
field, all while being a father.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“For me, being a
chef and married to the same woman for over 30 years, and raising five
children, in this profession is more of a challenge than cooking in Michigan
because the business that I’ve chosen is very demanding. What time of day do
people eat dinner? Oh, in the evening… so what time of day do I work normally?
Oh, yeah… see, I work when everyone else plays.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Dylan is
impressed with his father’s dedication to their family. “Every Chef is
divorced. I mean <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">every</i> chef. The fact
that they’ve made it for so long is crazy,” he says of his parents. Dylan also recalled the absence of
his father through the childhoods of his older siblings during the closing of
Five Lakes and Cinco Lagos. They had a weekly ritual of watching Saturday Night
Live and making grilled cheese at midnight, because that was the only time he
was home. Once he opened Forest Grill, though, he was able to spend more time
with his two younger kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Chef Polcyn
packed up some sausage, corned beef and desserts from the pastry class for me to
take home. A week later Dylan and I cooked up the sausages for dinner,
consulting his dad over the phone about how exactly to cook them, and hoping
that his new line of pre-packaged meats and meals would make it onto our campus
someday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">As we sat down
to eat, in honor of Chef Polcyn and of the meat we were eating, Dylan and I shared a Chef
Polcyn-ism: “Praise the Lard!”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Word Count: 1927<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Intended
Publication: New York Times Diner’s Journal<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-6893437076737980382013-05-22T11:35:00.001-07:002013-05-22T11:35:59.934-07:00The Events of OctoberThis is such an incredibly well-written story. And the amount of information, testimonials, details, stories and perspectives that are so artfully woven together is unbelievable. I feel as though there is nothing missing from this story: everything we might want to know about the characters, their backgrounds, characterization from their friends, family, details as vivid as Maggie leaving her book open on her bed, and never coming back, it's all here. What a process that must have been! I can't wait to talk to the author about what it was like to collect all of the pieces that put this story together. Not only that, but I feel it was a hard one to write given the event, and how she dealt with sensitivity surrounding that. There must have been a certain amount of time that had to pass before she felt comfortable interviewing people and asking them to uncover their memories. Even though no one was in the room with Maggie and Neenef, we get everything else. And it makes it such a vivid, real, and tribute-ive story.<div>
Additionally, how did the author hope the story to function an closure for the event or at all? It is so difficult to reconcile something like this and understand its place in the college community. I think the story could have functioned as a sort of closure and memory of it all which is a very brave thing to write. Finally, for whom did the author intend this story and how was she sensitive to that while writing? Though I think this story is valuable to non Kalamazoo College community members, it certainly strikes more of a chord with people who know the buildings, the professors and the inter workings of the campus. How did the author deal with this if at all? How did she think about ways it could be for the students? For the families? The story certainly helps reader to understand why it happened, which is an important narrative to take away from an event like this. Would the community have received that "why" otherwise?</div>
Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-11447098421156244212013-05-15T17:24:00.003-07:002013-05-15T17:24:12.951-07:00Reading Response Week 7<!--StartFragment-->
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The segment on dialogue was really helpful both in validating
the use of lots of dialogue, and using large chunks of it, and also in helping
to decide when to use it and when it can be most effective. For example,
dialogue as the “punch line of a joke” or the most explicit way we can convey
the subject’s life or story was helpful in thinking about the strategies with
which it is worked in really enhance the story. Like Marin said, we are not
telling the subject’s story from our perspectives or what we have heard, we are
telling it from the perspective of the narrator and people who know the
narrator, so quoting IS really important.</div>
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I think coming up with an ending is something that I’m
struggling the most with, so it was nice to hear some strategies such as
“bringing the story full circle”. It was also helpful to understand the
importance of an ending, because part of me thought maybe no one would notice
if it just dropped off… so that’s something I am continuing to work on in
revision.</div>
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I also feel I am clos(er) to conveying strong character and
scene through thoroughly describing exactly what I experienced, and building
character from a climactic moment (when we is tasting the work of his students)
and then explaining how he got there. This is such a cool process for building
character, and I hope I am somewhat accomplishing it.</div>
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Finally, reading about voice really helped to synthesize the
point of these assignments for me and understand that even though I am trying
to capture little details of this character and this story, ultimately the
writing does have to fall into my own voice. Sometimes when writing about very
distinct characters I feel pressure to recreate or deliver their personality
through my own writing, but instead, the writer strives to do this by capturing
them in their own writing style. That is important to remember.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->
Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-13306226184560947652013-05-14T19:03:00.004-07:002013-05-14T19:03:37.898-07:00Story Pitch5 words<br />
<br />
Apple Blossom Cluster Dog Show<br />
<br />
Who came up with that?<br />
I want to know... so I'm thinking of going next weekend at the Kalamazoo County Expo Fairgrounds to observe, talk to people, and just see what the heck this probably ridiculous event is all about.<br />
<br />
Interested?Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-82464294241419151762013-05-14T18:25:00.001-07:002013-05-14T18:25:27.624-07:00Questions for Draft 2This draft is still not these but it is close*er*. I just have so much to write about and I'm having trouble weaving...<br />
Can people please comment on the lead? I also don't really have an ending anymore, because I don't really know where the story is going from there. I dropped in more "in the moment" stuff, and now its just so long. Thanks everyone.Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-88169467023310933852013-05-14T18:23:00.000-07:002013-05-14T18:23:12.384-07:00Life, Liberty, and the Prociutto of Happiness: Making it in the Restaurant Business Draft 2<!--StartFragment-->
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">“Next!” Nationally acclaimed practitioner of Charcuterie,
restaurant owner, author, and teacher, Brian Polcyn, stands at a table in the
front of his classroom at Schoolcraft College sampling and critiquing the work
of his students.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">His gruff low voice booms from the gut of his meat
belly out over the classroom of culinary arts students in the unmistakable
accent of a Detroit native. Students come up periodically to present their
work. He cuts off a piece of sausage and hastily puts it in his mouth, tossing
the hot meat roughly with each chewing motion. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Meanwhile three of his students hold down the
sausage stuffing machine, between panic and triumph. Other students slide
around the kitchen, turning sideways to fit through small spaces, and lifting
raw meat concoctions overhead as they avoid colliding with one another. There
are 18 stainless steel prep areas in the middle of the room, surrounded by
stoves, ovens, large walk-in fridges and sinks. The classroom smells of salt
and cured meats, slabs of raw cuts laying all over the place, being dressed and
stuffed and flavored by the students: sausages of cow and pig, jerky, fish,
pork chops, and stuffed chicken breasts, but mostly sausages, piled in coils,
or in long strings draped over pieces of equipment. There was nowhere I could
stand and feel like I wasn’t in the way. In an environment where it was easy to
feel like a burden, Chef Polcyn really made me feel like a guest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Student Brian lands a smoked trout on the altar of
critiquing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“Smoked fish? Ok, watch this, she’s going to grade
you. Whatever she says goes, and do <i>not </i>be nice.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“I want you to ask yourself, is it pleasant to
east, first and foremost?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">It was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“Ok, is it too salty?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">No, it wasn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“Is it moist?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Ehhh it was a little dry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“Ok, so here’s someone who doesn’t know a lot about
food, but this is our customer, right? So we have to listen to her. So for a
score of 1 out of 25 what would you give him?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">I gave him a 24, but Polcyn is cheeky.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“If I liked him I would do 24, but I don’t like
him, so I’m gonna go 23.9.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">When he’s not grading, Polcyn barks his way around
the kitchen, critiquing sanitation practices, fixing broken equipment, and
cutting cured meats for sampling from the transformation room, where salted
meats have been hanging, aging for years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">He was nice enough to take me in there, apparently
a huge honor, “I’m taking you in my transitional room where I take no one. Not
even my students. They’re all like ‘Who is this girl?’”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">The transformation room was like a stainless steel
version of a smokehouse from Little House on the Prarie. To the average person,
it looks like a bunch of hanging, moldy ham. But this is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Charcuterie. </i>Charcuterie is the art of curing and preserving meat
without cooking it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Polcyn speaks of Charcuterie as common sense. The
refrigerator has only been around for about 100 years, but people have been
eating meat forever. Polcyn doesn’t just worship meat, but the fat, Polcyn
learned in Italy, is where the flavor truly lies. He always has the
fat-a-phobics chant “Fat is flavor, Fat is our friend, We love fat!” or tells
them to “Praise the lard!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">But how does this carnivore reconcile the
vegetarianism of so many of his customers?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“I don’t have a problem with it… I don’t see the
importance of it, I mean you need a certain amount of fat in your diet, and I
think animal fat is the best”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Ironically, he shares his office with a vegan, and
they seem to have agreed to disagree.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">His space-mate made two good cases for veganism:
most illnesses stem from meat consumption, doctors advising their patients to
stop eating meat, so why wait until you get to that?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“He makes a good point. I hate it when he’s right”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">The second reason being the land used to feed
animals could feed people instead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“Oh shit, I <i>hate</i> it when he’s right”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">He recognizes vegetarianism as an important value
to some of his customers, taking methods of cooking meats and making them with
vegetables. A terrine is typically a meatloaf style casserole wrapped in
additional meat such as bacon<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“I adapt the principle of the ancient craft of
Charcuterie and apply it to the modern American menu. In my mind, I’m honoring
the tradition, but I’m also thinking about the contemporary palate of my
customers. Yeah, I know it sucks. It’s an oxymoron. It’s like saying jumbo
shrimp… vegetable terrine”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Co-author of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Charcuterie:
The Craft of Salting, Smoking, and Curing, </i>Michael Ruhlman, wrote about a
conversation he had with Polcyn about the beginning of his love for Charcuterie:
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“My Polish Grandma, my fathers mother, made
Kielbasa every Christmas and Easter. Then my mom took over the job. We didn’t
have any money so everything we used and used well. We’d grind the meat and season
it. The next day we’d stuff it, tie it into big rings, hang the rings over a
broom handle on chairs, put the dog out, and set the kielbasa in front of the
fire overnight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“But this romance with Charcuterie didn’t start
until my early twenties, when I went to work at the golden mushroom, outside
Detroit, for Milos Cihelka, a Czech immigrant, my mentor and one of Michigan’s
great Chefs. I’d been cooking for five or six years and thought I knew
something. But when I started grinding meat and smoking sausages for Chef
Milos, I realized how little I knew. I was also fascinated by the process. I
got to work early and left late. I took notes like crazy.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Now Polcyn has an army of his own students learning
from him. Polcyn describes the culinary world of apprenticeship as a
responsibility to teach the next generation everything he knows. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“I expect my students to go out and teach the same,
just like I do”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">He pokes at his students, and they poke right back.
There’s a lot of sassiness in the classroom of Brian Polcyn, but mostly there’s
respect. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Even though Charcuterie is a required class for a
culinary degree at Schoolcraft, all of the students enjoy the class. “He makes
it so much fun” said student Joline, a middle aged DJ on the radio, looking to
do some catering work once she graduates.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Polcyn returned to teach at his Alma Mater after
writing his book, and opening and closing two restaurants, and opening a third
which is still owns: Forest Grill in Birmingham. His other restaurants include
Five Lakes Grill in Milford, MI, which he turned into Cinco Lagos, a Mexican
restaurant when Five Lakes was starting to fail. But he sees these opens and
closes as normal fluctuations in the restaurant business, that have all
amounted to his success<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Not only has Polcyn become Nationally acclaimed in
one of the toughest professions, he has done it all in the state of Michigan,
independent of cities with established taste and demand for his skills. Though
he attempted to cut back on complexity of menu items in order to have more time
with his family, the demand in the restaurant grew to credentials that
ultimately had him written up in the New York Times, Atlantic Monthly,
nominated for a James Beard Award, Restaurant of the Year in Michigan,
showcasing his talent amidst his natural and feasible habitat: “I got
nationally recognized as a chef in that little community where I could raise my
family and just be open for dinner. I could go coach soccer practice at four o’clock
and be back at the restaurant for dinner service because it was only five
minutes away. I’m a very successful business man, very successful chef,
Nationally acclaimed, financially stable, I make a lot of money for being a
cook. That’s not bragging, that’s fact”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Polcyn’s accomplishments are a testament to his
skill and acclaim he has built in the field, all while being a father.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Son Dylan attests that if his Dad had hauled the
kids out to New York or Chicago, he would be a star on the food network right
now. Why not? Because of the values that distinguished Polcyn from other chefs
and the sacrifices he has made throughout his life for his family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“For me, being a chef and married to the same woman
for over 30 years, and raising five children, in this profession is more of a
challenge than cooking in Michigan because the business that I’ve chosen is
very demanding. What time of day do people eat dinner? Oh, in the evening… so
what time of day do I work normally? Oh, yeah… see, I work when everyone else
plays”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Dylan is equally charismatic and vibrant, eager to
talk about his Dad: “Every Chef is divorced. I mean <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">every</i> chef. The fact that they’ve made it for so long is crazy.”
Dylan also recalled the absence of his father through the childhoods of his
older siblings father through his childhood than his two older siblings who had
a weekly ritual of watching Saturday Night Live and making grilled cheese at
midnight, because that was the only time he was home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">His co-author also wrote that this craziness is not
uncommon for a chef:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“It’s in the nature of the chef to accept with
cheerful willingness a workload that is completely impossible. It’s a matter of
pride and personal challenge, even taking on a third job when too full time
jobs are really already just a little too much. And a chef does this not
wineingly or with a sigh, but rather with a breezy immediate response: sure.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-76824491088674131962013-05-06T10:26:00.004-07:002013-05-06T10:26:58.048-07:00Profile ProcessThis piece was way harder for me to write than I thought. i felt like we did so much good build up reading, like I had all of my strategies down, but when it actually came down to it I couldn't project any of that theory onto my writing. First of all, I don't really know what story i'm trying to tell here... I want to tell all of it, but I'm starting to see that maybe there are some sub-stries in here I could zoom in on. But I go back and forth, because I feel like the point of the assignment is to write about oval themes and subjects in their life. I also felt like I relied on quotes SO much. Probably too much. He just said things so nicely. Is it too much?<br />
I also wrote with a little bit of perpetual fear. He is such a sharp, knowledgeable, witty, and accomplished person I feared not capturing him properly, so that's probably why I relied so much on the ways he captured himself. I am also working on getting some other sources in here (writing that other people have done about him) but I had some logistical issues with that and couldn't get the book in time. My apologies. Basically, I know this piece could be loads better, but I don't know how to go out it. MehhhhCharlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-76634606299005749882013-05-06T10:19:00.004-07:002013-05-06T10:19:38.227-07:00Life, Liberty and the Prociutto of Happiness: Spreading the Good Word of Charcuterie and Making it in the Restaurant Business<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nationally acclaimed practitioner of charcuterie, Brian
Polcyn shuffles into class, Starbucks in hand and a large black bag slung over his
shoulder, sporting black leather motorcycle jacket. His deep scratchy voice
speaks with an unmistakable Michigan accent: a Detroit native. Just as class it
about to start, he emerges from his office with his button up white chef coat
stretched across his meat belly, and tall white hat, propping himself on a
stool to take attendance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Good morning, boys and girls”. His students gather around
his all dressed in the same Chef getup, hands behind their backs, answering “Here,
Chef” when he calls each name. The students are in the middle of their one week
practical exam at Schoolcraft College in the Charcuterie class: the ancient art
of curing meats. Each student will prepare a number of meat dishes to be graded
and critiqued by Nationally acclaimed author, chef, and of course teacher Brian
Polcyn.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Polcyn worked his way up the “totalitarian brigade” of
culinary training in his early kitchen years remarkably fast, attributing much
of his success to his instructor, Chef Milos. Polcyn describes the culinary world
of apprenticeship as a responsibility to teach the next generation everything
you know. It was unforgiving and tough to be trained in the culinary profession
during this time, and very few people made it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I expect my students to go out and teach the same, just
like I do”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The students go about their business and Polcyn barks his
way around the kitchen, critiquing sanitation practices, fixing broken
equipment, and cutting cured meats for sampling from the transitional room,
where salted meats have been hanging, aging for years.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Polcyn speaks of Charcuterie as common sense.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“When was the refrigerator invented?” Early 1900s.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“And How long have people been eating meat?” Forever.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Charcuterie is the art of curing and preserving meat without
cooking it. The meat gets dried and brines in salt and then hung to dry in the
transformation room.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Polcyn doesn’t just worship meat, but the fat, Polcyn
learned in Italy, is where the flavor truly lies. Polcyn’s sausages and salami
are speckled, with fat distributed throughout bringing out rich, creamy
flavors. The copa muscle on the neck of the animal holds unique flavor because
of the nature of the tendons infused throughout the meat.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The world would be a terrible place without fat”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How does this carnivore reconcile the vegetarianism of so
many of his customers?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I don’t have a problem with it… I don’t see the importance
of it, I mean you need a certain amount of fat in your diet, and I think animal
fat is the best”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Actually, he shares his office with a vegan, and they
generally agree to disagree.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His space-mate made two good cases for veganism: most
illnesses stem from meat consumption, doctors advising their patients to stop
eating meat, so why wait until you get to that?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“He makes a good point. I hate it when he’s right”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The second reason being the land used to feed animals could
feed people instead.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh shit, I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hate</i>
it when he’s right”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He recognizes vegetarianism as an important value to some of
his customers, taking methods of cooking meats and making them with vegetables.
A terrine is typically a meatloaf style casserole wrapped in additional meat
such as bacon</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I adapt the principle of the ancient craft of Charcuterie
and apply it to the modern American menu. So I’m going to make a roasted
vegetable terrine. In my mind, I’m honoring the tradition, but I’m also
thinking about the contemporary palate of my customers. Yeah, I know it sucks.
It’s an oxymoron. It’s like saying jumbo shrimp… vegetable terrine”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Polcyn settled onto his stool at the front of the classroom
and began sampling his student’s exam dishes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Smoked fish? Ok, watch this, she’s going to grade you.
Whatever she says goes, and do <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not </i>be
nice”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I want you to ask yourself, is it pleasant to east, first
and foremost?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ok, is it too salty?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Is it moist?” Ehhh it was a little dry.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ok, so here’s someone who doesn’t know a lot about food,
but this is our customer, right? So we have to listen to her. So for a score of
1 out of 25 what would you give him?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He got a 24, but Polcyn is cheeky.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“If I liked him I would do 24, but I don’t like him, so I’m
gonna go 23.9”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Another thing I learned is to buy local, which, I have been
doing that my entire career: going to farmers markets and developing
relationships with small farmers. And, here’s the big secret… today there’s so
many buzzwords about ‘gate to the plate’, ‘but local’, or ‘organic’ blah blah
blah blah blah. Is there any other type of food? My entire career I’ve never
known any other type of food besides organic”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Buying local for Polcyn isn’t just about supporting the
family farm, it’s about getting the best quality product for the lowest price.
In fact, while many critics are unable to equate expensive food with high value
or quality, Polcyn plans to change the way we eat through his use of
ingredients and education of customers surrounding the importance of the food,
by “creating a demand”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m going to impact the way people eat in America. My
Charcuterie book has sold 130,000 copies, I’m traveling around teaching
classes, I make 1 trip a month, spreading the good word of Charcuterie and
saving the family farm”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How did he make it in the restaurant business? Not only has
Polcyn become Nationally acclaimed in one of the toughest professions, he has
done it all in the state of Michigan, independent of cities with established taste
and demand for his skills.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Son Dylan attests that if his Dad had hauled the kids out to
New York or Chicago, he would be a star on the food network right now. Why not?
Because of the values that distinguished Polcyn from other chefs and the
sacrifices he has made throughout his life for his family.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“For me, being a chef and married to the same woman for over
30 years, and raising five children, in this profession is more of a challenge
than cooking in Michigan because the business that I’ve chosen is very
demanding. What time of day do people eat dinner? Oh, in the evening… so what
time of day do I work normally? Oh, yeah… see, I work when everyone else
plays”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Polcyn was raising his children and decided to open a
restaurant in his hometown, giving birth to his value of local community.
Though he attempted to cut back on complexity of menu items in order to have
more time with his family, the demand in the restaurant grew to credentials
that ultimately had him written up in the New York Times, Atlantic Monthly,
nominated for a James Beard Award, Restaurant of the Year in Michigan,
showcasing his talent amidst his natural and feasible habitat: “I got
nationally recognized as a chef in that little community where I could raise my
family and just be open for dinner. I could go coach soccer practice at four
o’clock and be back at the restaurant for dinner service because it was only
five minutes away. I’m a very successful business man, very successful chef,
Nationally acclaimed, financially stable, I make a lot of money for being a
cook. That’s not bragging, that’s fact”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Polcyn’s accomplishments are a testament to his skill and
acclaim he has built in the field, all while being a father.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You can never know everything there is to know about food.
That’s why we say we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">practice</i>
Charcuterie, the way a lawyer practices law or a doctor practices medicine,
because everything has to be interpreted differently by today’s society because
we’ve evolved”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Polcyn hopes that new technology can bring the flavor and
qualities of his food to an on-the-go market, opening vending machines that
seal high-quality prepared meals inside plastic that can be microwaved to
inflate, and cook the meat inside in its own condensation, that will be
marketed at chain grocery stores. He equates it to a Bob Evans, but it will use
high quality ingredients.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We’re being a pioneer. First one through the wall always
gets bloody. After I knock a hole in the wall and everyone comes behind me, its
easier for them”. Polcyn is going to break down the wall and reform our food
system.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Intended Publication: Undecided</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Word Count: 1430</div>
<!--EndFragment-->
Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-90703285403766604292013-04-29T21:39:00.001-07:002013-04-29T21:39:50.365-07:00Week 5 Reading Response I really enjoyed reading the New Yorker profile just before I go to do my interview because it is helping me to get into the right mindset of really pursuing my subject's story. I found the honesty and candidness of the author really reassuring, and it was amusing how she compared profiling someone to becoming intensely interested or even obsessed with them. I don't think I'm on this level yet with my interviewee, but I'm trying to get there before my interview: watching youtube videos of him, reading snippets of his books, and articles about him. Not only do I think this is important for me as a writer, and someone who is going to be genuinely interested in pursuing his story, but I think he will expect it of me as well. It will be understood that I know at least a bit about meat and his accomplishments from his career. As a person interested in his life, why wouldn't I?<br />
I found the Sinatra piece to be long and disorienting at time with so many characters coming into and leaving the scene. One thing that really struck me though that I want to try to channel in my own next piece is the endless forms of characterization the author uses to illustrate the essence, behaviors, tendencies, and life events of Frank. He does a fair amount of "telling" and describing, but these paragraphs and sentences take on a role of reliability and pace-setting within the piece while other strategies of characterization add dynamic details and subplots. The descriptions of Frank's women, friends, agents (Dexter was my favorite paragraph), fans, and employees and their relation to him all reveal little details about him as a subject of the piece. The description of him as "Il Padrone" held overarching characterization that was classified in this way through different sub-scenes. As scenes unfold, more character comes through showing his emotions, behavior, and dialogue. Later on we hear the story of his birth and childhood, indirect characterization about his development and family life. Even through his somewhat doppleganger Delgado we get additional descriptions and ideas about him. My favorite method of characterization was through the series of quotes of people who know and are related to him, giving us ideas about Sinatra himself, but also about his relationships and the impressions others have of him. All of these things working together made for an incredibly descriptive piece, not just in predictable ways but in creative ones, and gave me many ideas for my own piece.<br />
I had some apprehensions after reading <i>Telling True Stories</i> as well, as much of the advice and feedback from the passages were based off of longevity and development of relationship with a subject, which I feel is unrealistic for our assignment right now (at least with my subject). I found myself trying to reconcile our short time frame for the assignment. The advice I felt most helpful, though, included witnessing action or being able to look back on it with the subject, unearth it, and unpack it, allowing the ending to be the beginning in some way, and having guided conversations versus interviews. I do feel a sense of formality with my subject because he is very busy and well known, but I hope I am able to find a tone and create a setting of guided conversation. I think it would have been helpful to read these passages for 3rd or 4th week so we could have kept this information in mind when choosing an interview subject. How much of these circumstances should we expect to be realized in our short 10 week quarter, and how many should we just tuck away for our future narrative endeavors?Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-66269956933316525152013-04-29T08:41:00.000-07:002013-04-29T08:41:08.771-07:00The Ticket to Me Final Draft with Outline<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">I
never thought I would be driving down the highway and turn up the radio to
listen to report updates about Proposition 8. I never thought I would be
dodging conversations with my family, not quite knowing when or how to tell
them what was going on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“Charlotte,
you know what would be perfect for you? If you had a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">boyfriend</i> who was a cook”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“Yeah……”
I stalled, “Or I could just be a cook”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">There’s
nothing scarier than learning something new about yourself:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">She
was in and out of a relationship with another girl. I thought she was kind of
crazy… never showed up on time for stuff and usually smelled like alcohol. We
would talk here and there, and one time we hung out for a while, and had a
really long conversation about… everything… She told me about what it was like
to come out to her parents. I told her I had never been in a relationship
before. Right before we fell asleep she kissed me on the cheek, so I kissed her
back.</span><span style="color: #c1c1c1; font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">It was so much fun and felt so easy, so
much easier than any time I had spent with anyone else lately. As we kept
hanging out, I couldn’t get her off of my mind, and felt distracted by how
strong and dominating our friendship was in my life.</span><span style="color: #c1c1c1; font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">She
was just someone that I thought was really cool, who became a good, and then
really good friend. We found reasons to hang out together, would make excuses
to watch a movie or go on a walk. My heart beat faster when I was around her,
and I would sweat a little, I would wonder what she was doing or who she was
talking to, and get a little bit jealous… but I didn’t know what it was.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">I
wrote in my journal: <i>Crush?</i> But that felt weird. <i>Girl
crush?</i></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">One
time we were palm reading in her room, and we looked at our sexuality lines.
She had one that meant she liked girls, I didn’t. By palm-reading standards I
was 100% straight.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Life
went on and we spent time together, and time apart. I was always thinking about
her and what she could be doing.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">It
felt like an unjustified obsession.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">I
tried taking up meditation.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">It
didn’t work.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Months
went by… We got really close a few times, but I didn’t know what it meant to
me, or how to recognize the feelings I had: butterflies when we held hands or
spooned on her bed, the tingly energy and faint numbness that surged through me
when we connected about something. They were strong feelings, but feelings that
I had never felt before, and didn’t know how to label or accept.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">The
first time she kissed me she was really drunk. The next morning when I told her
about it she said: “If only you were gay”. Huh. If only I was…</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">The
second time she kissed me she was just a little tipsy, and came knocking on my
door at 4am. I had already gone to sleep, but opened the door for some reason
and then got back in bed. She came and laid down next to me, looked at me for a
long time, and then slowly came towards me. We kissed once, twice, and then
over and over, each one a trial, a question, an uncertainty. We kissed and
talked and laid together. It happened again the next night, soberly.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Then
it got hard. She was still with the other girl.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“We
can’t keep doing this anymore”.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">But
it kept happening, and my feelings grew stronger, more certain.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">And
then I was in love with her. Maybe I was all along, but just didn’t know what
it felt like. We said it to each other once. I felt the words coming out of my
mouth but couldn’t back up the feelings because they felt so foreign to me.
Even though I knew it was love, it was love with a woman.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">The
day she told me we really had to stop (she was really with someone else and as
going to make it work), I got an urge to say what I was feeling:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“So…
um, hmmm. So, I’m hesitant to say this because I just don’t know how I feel
about it, but I think I <i>only</i> like women”.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Saying
it out loud it all made sense:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Saying
the word “boyfriend” in relation to my future self has never felt comfortable
to me, like my motor skills know it will never be a part of my life. I always
just laugh along when my friends obsess over boys and their attractiveness… not
knowing how to participate. A couple of times I made up crushes on boys I had no
feelings for, just because I felt like I should.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">She
was the best person to tell. She understood all of my feelings and uncertainty,
and was practically taking the words out of my mouth.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">I
remember feeling so confused: “I almost don’t feel right saying it because I
still feel like its not really true, or its not mine to say”.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">She
was right there, “Yup, yup, I know. You’re like, is this really happening
to <i>me</i>? Because you never imagined that it would”.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">But
mostly, she was validating:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“You’re
a part of the coolest group of people ever! We’re the most accepting, the most
fun, and we’re the elite… we are better than everyone else”. She had a parade for
me.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">And
then it was real.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">A
few days later I skyped my best friend:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“So,
I’m gay… ahhhh kfjneneiunfw. That feels weird to say.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"> She,
too, said all the right things. “Girl, it doesn’t have to be anything you don’t
want. It reminds me of that Eminem song: I can’t tell you what it really is, I
can only tell you what it feels like”.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">It
feels right. I was imagining my future and my story as something that deep down
I knew was never going to happen. I was trying to get to Omaha, Nebraska
without a map, but I’m totally ok to go to Chicago, just a two hour drive,
using my GPS… and I know I will like it there. But a little part of me feels
like I <i>should</i> go to Omaha even though I know it’s going to feel
weird and uncomfortable and hard to navigate.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">And
the girl? We grew distant, but my feelings for her stayed the same, so I told
her again one day.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">“This
wasn’t just a realization for me, it was more than that! I still really care
about you”.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">But
it became very clear to me that this huge landmark in my life was just a little
detour for her. I was left feeling dumb and ashamed not having my feelings
reciprocated. I wanted to crawl in a hole. But I guess that is the way that a
lot of people feel at some point in their life.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Every
day is a new challenge: someone new to tell, something new to think about. How
am I going to have children? Sometimes I’m excited to share this new part of
me, sometimes I’m scared. My cousin’s girlfriend jokes that the only way she
can meet my grandparents is if she has a paper bag over her head and pretends
to be a man. When my sister tried to bring her girlfriend into the house to get
a drink of water after she had driven her all the way home from Boston to New
Jersey, my Dad left the property. He has since been trying to convince her that
her relationship is “just a phase”. My mom is so concerned about my
relationship deficit that she will be relieved to know it has just been a mass
of confusion. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">But
I‘m not confused anymore. I feel great.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Intended Publication: Modern Love</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Word Count: 1343<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Outline:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Charlotte eludes herself</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Charlotte likes girl</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Charlotte explores feelings</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Charlotte accepts feelings</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Charlotte knows herself</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-32373509445392439172013-04-23T19:35:00.004-07:002013-04-23T19:35:45.187-07:00Writing for Story ResponseIt's so helpful to read this book while being in the middle of all of the processes Franklin talks about. There were so many tips and suggestions that I feel I've been hearing throughout my whole life, but that I can never be reminded of too many times: show don't tell, use action words and strong language, create a structure, foreshadow, include dialogue, identify and develop conflict, pace the story. Reading about each of these processes and aspects of telling a story after having just written our personal narratives was helpful in reflecting back on that process and feeling validated or encouraged about things I did well, or the same as he suggests in the book, and things I could have done differently.<br />
<br />
One segment that was unfamiliar to me was the concept of an "outline" (and maybe this is why Marin wanted us to pay particular attention to it). I feel as though with my personal narrative I did things a little backwards: I definitely had a rough draft and then "polished" it as he suggests, and I think eventually my "woodwork" and conflicts emerged, but it took a while to get there. Instead I could have identified the conflicts and intermediate conflicts from the very beginning as he suggests. I also don't know how this will play out in this next piece though, because I'm pretty sure my subject doesn't have a whole lot of conflict... his life seems pretty great. But I could be wrong. That is a questions I would like to pose in class: because conflict seems to be so central to writing, what is another way we can navigate woodwork, pacing and developmental focus? I found it very helpful to project the stages of conflict and resolution on the the story "Mrs. Kelley's Monster" as that was a story that contained many little bits of action, all amounting to a dramatic pacing that kept the reader attentive to the story line. <br />
<br />
I also love the segments where Franklin is describing what is going through a writer's head as he deliberates about a piece, confronts writers block, and "polishes" his work. Particularly in the chapter The Nature of Art and Artists, he is transparent about the writers thinking and process, and also acknowledges the writer as the primary agent of the story, even when receiving feedback. These are all a part of the writer's process peeling back the onion and confronting the characters. Though the part about telling a story of "reality" was rather dramatic, it shed light on the importance of, well, telling true stories, and the importance of maintaining that integrity to character development and reality. It's just a matter of finding the details of the story and of the character to extract, and then shaping them cleverly. Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-87043728675993005602013-04-17T14:29:00.000-07:002013-04-17T14:29:10.434-07:00The Ticket to Me<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">There’s
nothing scarier than learning something new about yourself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">She was in and
out of a relationship with another girl. I thought she was kind of crazy… never
showed up on time for stuff and usually smelled like alcohol. We would talk
here and there, and one time we hung out for a while, and had a really long
conversation about… everything… Our thing was eye contact. We just kept looking
at each other for a long time until one of us looked away. It was like a little
game. She told me about what it was like to come out to her parents. I told her
I had never been in a relationship before. Right before we fell asleep she
kissed me on the cheek, so I kissed her back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">It was so much
fun and felt so easy, so much easier than any time I had spent with anyone else
lately. As we kept hanging out, I couldn’t get her off of my mind, and felt distracted
by how strong and dominating our friendship was in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">She was just someone
that I thought was really cool, who became a good, and then really good friend.
We found reasons to hang out together, would make excuses to watch a movie or
go on a walk. My heart beat faster when I was around her, and I would sweat a
little, I would wonder what she was doing or who she was talking to, and get a
little bit jealous… I didn’t know what it was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I wrote in my
journal: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Crush?</i> But that felt weird. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Girl crush?</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">One time we were
palm reading in her room, and we looked at our sexuality lines. She had one
that meant she liked girls, I didn’t. By palm-reading standards I was 100%
straight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Life went on and
we spent time together, and time apart. I was always thinking about her and
what she could be doing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">It felt like an
unjustified obsession.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I tried taking
up meditation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">It didn’t work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Months went by…
We got really close a few times, but I didn’t know what it meant to me, or how
to recognize the feelings I had: butterflies when we held hands or spooned on
her bed, the tingly energy and faint numbness that surged through me when we
connected about something. They were strong feelings, but feelings that I had
never felt before, and didn’t know how to label or accept.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The first time
she kissed me she was really drunk. The next morning when I told her about it
she said: “If only you were gay”. Huh. If only I was…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The second time
she kissed me she was just a little tipsy, and came knocking on my door at 4am.
I had already gone to sleep, but opened the door for some reason and then got
back in bed. She came and laid down next to me, looked at me for a long time,
and then slowly came towards me. We kissed once, twice, and then over and over,
each one a trial, a question, an uncertainty. We kissed and talked and laid
together. It happened again the next night, soberly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Then it got
hard. She was still with the other girl.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“We can’t keep
doing this anymore”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">But it kept
happening, and my feelings grew stronger, more certain. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">And then I was
in love with her. Maybe I was all along, but just didn’t know what it felt like.
We said it to each other once. I felt the words coming out of my mouth but
couldn’t back up the feelings because they felt so foreign to me. Even though I
knew it was love, it was love with a woman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The day she told
me we really had to stop (she was really with someone else and as going to make
it work), I got an urge to say what I was feeling:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“So… um, hmmm.
So, I’m hesitant to say this because I just don’t know how I feel about it, but
I think I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">only</i> like women”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Saying it out
loud it all made sense:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’ve always felt
uncomfortable saying the word “boyfriend” like my nerves or motor skills knew
it would never be a part of my life. I always just laughed along when my
friends obsessed over boys and their attractiveness… I’ve always thought girls
were prettier. I’ve always avoided conversations about men or intimacy because
it just wasn’t a part of my life. I filled my free time really fast and was
always “too busy” for anything romantic to be happening. A couple of times I
made up crushes on boys I had absolutely no feelings for, just because I felt
like I should.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">She was for sure
the best person to tell. She understood all of my feelings and uncertainty, and
was practically taking the words out of my mouth. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I remember
feeling so confused. “I almost don’t feel right saying it because I still feel
like its not really true, or its not mine to say”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">She was right
there “Yup, yup, I know. You’re like, is this really happening to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i>? Because you never imagined that it
would”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">But mostly, she
was validating:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“You’re a part
of the coolest group of people ever! We’re the most accepting, the most fun,
and we’re the elite… we are better than everyone else”. She had a parade for
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">And then it was
real.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">A few days later
I skyped my best friend:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“So, I’m gay…
ahhhh kfjneneiunfw. That feels weird to say.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She, too, said all the right things.
“Girl, it doesn’t have to be anything you don’t want. It reminds me of that
Eminem song: I can’t tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it
feels like”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">It feels right.
I was imagining my future and my story as something that deep down I knew was
never going to happen. I was trying to get to Omaha, Nebraska without a map,
but I’m totally ok to go to Chicago, using my GPS… and I know I will like it
there. But a little part of me feels like I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">should</i>
go to Omaha even though I know it’s going to feel weird and uncomfortable and
hard to navigate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">And the girl? We
grew distant, but my feelings for her stayed the same, so I told her again one
day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“This wasn’t
just a realization for me, it was more than that! I still really care about
you”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">But it became
very clear to me that this huge landmark in my life was just a little detour
for her. I was left feeling dumb and ashamed that my feelings were so strong
and not to have them reciprocated. I wanted to crawl in a hole. But I guess that
is the way that a lot of people feel at some point in their life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Every day is a
new challenge: someone new to tell, something new to think about. How am I
going to have children? Sometimes I’m excited to share this new part of me,
sometimes I’m scared. My cousin’s girlfriend jokes that the only way she can
meet my grandparents is if she has a paper bag over her head and pretends to be
a man. When my sister tried to bring her girlfriend into the house to get a
drink of water after she had driven her all the way home from Boston to New
Jersey, my Dad left the property. He has since been trying to convince her that
her relationship is “just a phase”. My mom is so concerned about my
relationship deficit that she will be relieved to know it has just been a mass
of confusion. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">But I‘m not
confused anymore. I feel great.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Intended Publication: Modern Love</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Word Count: 1307</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-41623116205407612882013-04-17T08:01:00.001-07:002013-04-17T08:01:17.670-07:00Story PitchStory pitch:<br />
<br />
I remember the day I came home to find Kari Monley in our kitchen, home alone with the dogs, watching over them until our family cam back from vacation. I just just come back from a road trip visiting my friends and was going to fly down to Florida the next day to meet up with my family.<br />
<br />
She seemed sweet, happy, had so much to say... I wondered if it was because she had been home alone for the past few days and didn't have anyone to talk to. I spent the night at home with her before I left the next morning, and we got to talking. This woman had lived one of the most insane life stories I had ever heard. And here she was in an oversized tshirt and sweatpants sitting in my kitchen, having been connected with us through one of my mom's friends because she was looking for short-term work. We started when she was a teenager: stories of her time working on a massive shipping boat with all men, nearly circumnavigating the state of Michigan. I think she tried going to school but realized the rigid academic structure wasn't quite for her. Traveled to Belgium, found work painting apartments, ran a half marathon there, and the day she was scheduled to leave, decided she wasn't ready. She stayed there, working and traveling and learned French from scratch. When she ran out of money she came home, fell in love with a pilot, got seriously injured and burned or something, started a career at Whole Foods where she met my Mom's friend Sally while finding her diherrea medication. Moved to Colorado, then to Ohio, making so many friends and having so many experiences. She was like a rockstar to me. Living in the moment, following her heart. I remember telling her about my life as an athlete, my plans to travel to Thailand and how full of awe and supportive she was.<br />
<br />
But I also remember little glimpses of her emotional instability, starting one night when I was babysitting for Sally and she was running around the house trying to book a plane ticket to Colorado because Kari needed help. There were times when Sally had no idea where Kari was or what she was doing until she would call from a pay phone somewhere. Last I heard she was living in a halfway house in Cleveland and committed suicide.Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-79440535597482559832013-04-17T06:51:00.000-07:002013-04-17T06:51:01.034-07:00Reading Response To LeBlanc and Orlean<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
LeBlanc’s story has so much characterization: both of the author
and how she deals with the cycles of Trina’s behavior, and of Trina. Even
though there are not many physical descriptions of Trina, besides her physical behavior
(crouching, darting, jumping) or her skinniness, I got a real sense of Trina’s
tough tomboy nature. The characterization of Trina comes in many forms, as
interpreted by the author, in Trina’s word for word account of herself, in the
words of the observations made by her case workers, and through dialogue,
providing for a strong sense of her presence in the author’s life as the main
focus of the story. Additionally, the author does an excellent job keeping the
reader captivated and hopeful for change for Trina, just like she is kept
hopeful with every phone call she receives “There are many calls and they all
share a shape, opening with the easy rhythm of friendship, and then collapsing
awkwardly because I can’t carry the optimism for us anymore” (230). As these
calls and attempts at rehab start to get old for the author in her life, they
start to become cyclical for the reader as well, signaling and end to the
story. I really enjoyed this pace of writing as it covers a large time frame.
We get details and small sub stories at the beginning, and as the patterns of
Trina’s life are narrated and become repetitive for the author, they spin to an
end for the reader as well. This story also gave me a real sense of what it is
like to write a narrative piece. This is a story not just of the main character
but also of the author and character’s relationship over time: the context for
the story. Writing narrative is not just about telling someone else’s story, it’s
about telling their experience as the author has been a part of it. I hadn’t
understood this distinction before.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
characterization in Orlean’s piece starts out much more literal, but also sets
the scene very well for the piece. It is much more directly descriptive and,
but is nicely congruent with the age and character of the protagonist. She also
stages the story with an intervention, talking about studies of teenage boys
that I thought would ultimately lend themselves to Colin’s story, and was
surprised when they did not become a prominent part of the story. I wasn’t ever
quite sure what the story was about exactly, and never really understood what
caused the writer to write this piece. Was it the affection she has for this
young boy? I was also left wondering who the writer is exactly, and how she
came to meet Colin or decide to write about him. Her relationship with him was
confusing to me, as she seemed to function as a babysitter or caretaker at times
picking him up from school, but never explicitly had that role. I didn’t enjoy or
understand this story as much.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->
Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-13926117520457286002013-04-08T13:42:00.002-07:002013-04-08T13:42:17.481-07:00Writing Process Narrative Piece:<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Writing Process Narrative Piece:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I started out writing about my two
sets of Grandparents, all named Joan and Ed. Which was fun to piece together,
but didn’t have the revelation aspect. What I’m still struggling with here is
that this story/experience/mindflow and personal transition is something so
intensely emotional that I’m still working through in my own head I have no
idea what it feels like to hear it as someone else. My biggest fear is that it
is confusing, cliché and uninteresting. It’s interesting to me because they are
new thoughts and feelings for me, but I don’t know if I am conveying them in a
way that is interesting to my readers. Mostly I wrote about this because it was
what fit this prompt in my life right now. Not because I was very confident I
could tell a good story through these events. How can I make it do both?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I struggled mainly with the prompt…
I had many narrative experiences I wanted to write about, but none with a core
revelation. Because this experience was relatively recent in my life, when
deciding what to write about I kept going back to it, and going back to it,
thinking about how perfectly it fit the prompt because it did cause me to think
entirely differently about myself. But I never imagined myself as someone who
would write a piece like this. It felt (still feels) kind of like a cliché,
first love sort of piece, and for some reason now that makes me feel stupid for
writing about it. I guess I’m just wondering how it sounds… cliché? It’s my
own, so its hard for me to see that, but if that’s the case that’s one of the
biggest things I want to revise.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
It’s something that’s on my mind
quite a bit, and so writing about it was really good for me. I used a lot of
journal entries, excerpts that I remembered feeling sooo good writing about
because they were such genuine thoughts and feelings, written while I was
caught up in it all. The more I wrote the more I found little, telling details
that helped me to show the story rather than just tell it. So, of course, more
time for this piece will be good.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->
Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4591678599176990134.post-66593569967789140552013-04-08T13:30:00.000-07:002013-04-08T13:45:01.490-07:00How I Found Me<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">How I Found Me</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Intended Publication: Modern Love</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 32px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">She was openly
gay, and was in and out of a relationships with another girl. We would talk
here and there, and one time we hung out for a while, and had a really long
conversation about… everything… <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it
was so much fun and felt so easy, so much easier than any other bonding
experience I had had with anyone lately. As we kept hanging out, I couldn’t get
her off of my mind, and felt distracted by how strong and dominating our
friendship was in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">She was just someone
that I thought was really cool, who became a good, and then really good friend.
We found reasons to hang out together, would make excuses to watch a movie or
go on a walk. My heart beat faster when I was around her, and I would sweat a
little, I would wonder what she was doing or who she was talking to, and get a
little bit jealous… I didn’t know what it was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I wrote in my
journal: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Crush?</i> But that felt weird. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Girl crush?</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">One time we were
palm reading in her room, and we looked at our sexuality lines. She had one
that meant she liked girls, I didn’t. By palm-reading standards I was 100%
straight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Life went on and
we spent time together, and time apart, and I thought about her so much. The
background in my brain was like an Imax movie of things that I missed about her
or reminded me of her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">It felt like an
unjustified obsession.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I tried taking
up meditation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">It didn’t work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">These feelings
continued for months, developing a strong protectiveness for her, always
wondering where she was and jealous of whoever she was hanging out with. We got
really close a few times, but I didn’t know what it meant to me, or how to
admit to the feelings I had: butterflies when we held hands or spooned on her bed,
the tingly surging energy and faint numbness that surged through me when we
connected about something. They were strong feelings, but feelings that I had
never felt before, and didn’t know how to label or accept.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The first time
she kissed me she was really drunk. The next morning when I told her about it
she said: “If only you were gay”. Huh. If only I was…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The second time
she kissed me she was just a little tipsy, and came knocking on my door at 4am.
I had already gone to sleep, but opened the door for some reason and then got
back in bed. She came and laid down next to me, looked at me for a long time,
and then slowly came towards me. We kissed once, twice, and then over and over,
each one a trial, a question, an uncertainty. We kissed and talked and laid
together. It happened again the next night, soberly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Then it got
hard. She was with someone else, and it was awkward.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“We can’t keep doing
this anymore”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">But it kept
happening, and my feelings grew stronger, more certain. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">And then I was
in love with her. Maybe I was all along, but just didn’t know what it felt like.
We said it to each other once. I felt the words coming out of my mouth but
couldn’t back up the feelings because they felt so foreign to me. Even though I
knew it was love, it was love with a woman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Feeling and
understanding these things enabled me to identify with other human beings. Love
is human nature, and it can occupy your life. The feelings of sickness and
depression that come with the thought of not being able to be with someone… the
way I feel when I look at her… the way I feel when she’s with someone else:
everything, the jealousy, the passion, the devotion, the obsession, all the
extremes, all of those feelings that people sing about, and write about, I can
hear them now. I can feel them now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">It was one thing
to admit it to myself, and another thing to tell my other people:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“So, I’m gay…
ahhhh adnjnqjndibqpd. That feels weird to say.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said all the right things. “Girl, it
doesn’t have to be anything you don’t want. It reminds me of that Eminem song:
I can’t tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Saying it out
loud felt foreign, against the rules. It was something I wanted to say, and
should say, but also something I immediately wanted to take back. Because it
was a part of me I didn’t know about myself, so it didn’t feel like it was mine
to say or tell. But once I adjusted to it, I just felt like me, and like I
could embody, explore and inhabit every cavern of myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Knowing this
thing about myself, whatever it is, feels so good. I remember my first day: out
of the closet, out in the world! When I woke up I had this new sense of
conviction and confidence in myself, capacity to own my life. I wasn’t worried
about my outfit or the way I looked because I was just me. And now I had a me.
Owning, having, recognizing this little thing about myself has erased all of my
day to day worries and fears. There is nothing more weird than learning and
having to adjust to something new about yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Even though I
had no idea what it was or how to find it, this new way of being was the ticket
to being me. Knowing this about myself makes everything else more real. I felt
lost, and now I feel found. I was imagining my future and my story as something
that deep down I knew was never going to happen. I was trying to get to Omaha,
Nebraska without a map, but I’m totally ok to go to Chicago, using my GPS… and
I know I will like it there. But a little part of me feels like I should go to
Omaha even though I know its going to feel weird and uncomfortable and hard to
navigate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">At first I
wanted to take it back, bury it away deep inside of me, or somehow change
myself to make it not true. But later I wanted to shout it off of a rooftop, do
a star jump, a toe touch, call everyone I knew!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">This thing, this
new feeling, has connected me to an entirely new population of people… people
who have gone through this exact same thing. Even though what I’m feeling feels
scary, knowing that other people have felt it too makes it ok. It’s a community
of people that is so bonded by something incredibly emotional, deep ad scary
process that we all share. I understand the bond, the pride and the celebration
of being able to share and own who we are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">How am I going
to have babies? There are so many things about the future that scare me now. So
many challenges that I never thought I would have to face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Finding love for
me was not so much about finding someone else as it was about finding myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Love is all you
need love is all you need love is all you need. But, for real it’s all you
need.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
Charlottehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01677679022092159842noreply@blogger.com10